"Patient Puppet"

A male patient was taken to the exam room as his wife trailed along behind.

When the doctor came in he asked the patient, "what am I seeing you for today?" There was a female voice coming from the corner saying...."abdominal pain." ~

The physician then asked the patient, "how long have you had this trouble?" the female voice again responded "about 2 months" ~

As the physician pressed on the patient's abdomen he asked, "does this hurt?" once again, the female voice from the corner said, "the pain is more toward the right" ~

Finally, the physician said, "I really think you need to make an appointment with YOUR gynecologist....now let's get back to my PATIENT!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Speaking of "voice" ~ after a speaking engagement recently, someone from the audience asked, "is that your REAL VOICE?" I responded, "yes mam, you can't BUY this voice anywhere!" She said, "well, I'm from upstate NY and I've NEVER heard a more Southern voice" I mentioned that I will be speaking in October in upstate NY and she said, "Honey, they are going to really make fun of you and your accent!" and I said, "no mam, THAT'S WHY they hired me!"

Denise Price Thomas

704-747-8699

"Boomer Cream"

For all "us" baby boomers out there, "Gladys" has opened an ICE CREAM PARLOR just for us.....The Baby Boomer Ice Cream Parlor has many flavors that will heal whatever ails you:

Banana Split Personality (for all you hot flashing women)

Cellulite Smoothie (for the plumping & lifting action that you need)

Blue Mood Enhancing Cream (when you're feeling like you wanna scream!)

Chocolate Fiber Sundae (for the feeling kinda full.......of it)

Wrinkle Eraser (the more you eat, the less wrinkles you'll have)

Memory Enhancer (our mostly forgotten flavor)

Dark Cherry Detox (to rid you of the pits)

"Special of the Day" (is all the leftovers from yesterday....SURPRISE)

Reduce, Reuse, Recycle......

Walk in with your walker.....and "run out" with the "trots!"

I'm Gladys Friday, aren't you?

Denise Price Thomas

denisepricethomas@gmail.com

704-747-8699

"Oil Change"

True Story:

This week "Gladys Friday" attended a very important professional meeting. Upon her arrival at home, her husband said....."You have SOMETHING on your rear end!" Coming closer to the WHITE attire, he pulled off a sticker that read:

Next oil change due at 65,000 miles

Now this brings me to the question "what happened to friends that TOLD you when something was so obvious?

I'm just glad the "USE BY" date wasn't on there as well ~

I'm "Gladys Friday" ~ hoping you have a wonderful holiday weekend!

What a fulfilling week it was. Denise presented a drama & performed as "Diane Hart" (dying heart ~ a homeless person) for the Sunday Morning Worship Service at Myers Memorial Methodist Church, followed by the message, "Choices" ~ Matthew 25: 35-40.

Then it was off to Huntersville OB/GYN for an employee presentation & workshop.

"Gladys Friday" entertained for several events. Her 65,000 miles is getting closer!

"Dr. Ben Dover"

"Gladys" took a walk down memory lane this week as she recalled her days of working with a physician by the name of "Dr. Ben Dover". He was a kind and gentle soul.....a gastroenterologist, of course. His wife's name was "Ilene Dover" They got along SOOOO well, he seemed to always be wearing a smile. I guess it was appropriate for their first child to be named "Star Dover" as he looked for every opportunity to "start over."

This part is TRUE: the following dictation was found in a patient's actual record:

"Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid" (maybe that's why Dr. Ben Dover retired?!?)

Enjoy your weekend and remember to look for laughs.

"Best Friend Patients"

"Gladys Friday" recently had the privilege to participate in an evaluation & satisfaction survey for a clinic. She was pleased to see each patient being greeted with a smile along with kind and friendly words. Paperwork was quickly updated for every visit and seldom did patients have to wait. In fact, they had very few chairs in the lobby of the busy clinic.

On the way back to the exam room, the personal touch continued and new patients were given a special treat.

Once the physician entered the exam room, you would have thought they were "best friends." "Gladys" had never seen a patient immediately jump into the arms of a physician nor witness a patient lick the physician in the face.....until that day. They were treating each patient "like a dog"~ and tails were wagging all day long.

That was her first experience with the animal clinic. There's lots to learn from that clinic for sure. Oh, and guess what? Each visit was PAID IN FULL by the "guarantor" who actually THANKED the doctor while writing the check.....and smiling! I remember those days in healthcare.

"Gladys" apologizes for her tardiness this week. Her husband had surgery last week giving "Denise & Gladys" a few more stories to come.

We will sign off for now as "Mona Monday" ~ until Friday.

Following doctor's advice ~

My doctor told me this week that due to my age, I should start thinking more about the here after. I told him that I've been doing that for quite some time now. I will go from one room to the next and have to ask myself, "now, what did I come here after?"

He also encouraged me to begin working on my will....so I have started the process and it's a "dead giveaway" for sure ~ but I'm following his advice.

I hope you have a wonderful weekend filled with happy memories laced with lots of laughter & love. Enjoy ~

Check out day at the hospital ~

After a lengthy stay in the hospital, a nurse walked into a patient's room handing him a brand new urinal and said, "if the specimen comes back clear, your doctor said you can go home today." The patient was very excited. He was feeling so much better that he decided to add some mischief to his departure.

When the nurse returned, she took the urinal and said......"Oh no, this looks very dark so don't get your hopes up, it may not be today"

The patient said, "Let me see it, I'll just run it back through" ~ as he turned it up and drank it!!!!! Of course the nurse was startled to say the least.....yet relieved when he offered to share his glass of ICED TEA with her. Humor is healing, isn't it?

I'm Gladys Friday (even though it's after midnight).

Have a wonderful weekend!

denisepricethomas@gmail.com

704-747-8699