Memory Problems?

A physician mentioned to a couple in their nineties that they may want to start writing things down to help them remember. One night the husband started into the kitchen and asked his wife, "would you like some ice cream honey?" and she said, "yes, that's nice....but you'd better write it down dear or you'll forget."

The husband said, "Sweetie, I can remember that"

"OK then, I'd like chocolate syrup on mine"

About 15 minutes later, he returned with bacon & eggs on a plate. She said, "where's my toast...you FORGOT my TOAST, I TOLD YOU to WRITE IT DOWN!!!"

An appropriate story & perfect timing due to the birthday of "Denise" tomorrow. Have a wonderful weekend everyone. I'm "Gladys Friday"

"Needing a check up"

True Story ~

Over 30 years ago, "Gladys" uncle worked for a TV station where they had to manually monitor the TV transmitter every 30 minutes, noting the readings on a log. Technology came along and the brand new IBM machine would record the readings automatically. They continued to monitor the new machine for a while making certain it was working properly.

One day he noticed it was not working so he placed a call to IBM. The lady answering his call asked what the problem was. Uncle said, "well, I need for you to send someone out for a check up, it's skipping periods" ~ the lady began to laugh and asked, "should I send a technician or a gynecologist?"

"Serving with a smile = Service with a smile" ~ from "Gladys Friday"

(aka Denise Price Thomas)

Denise & Gladys are on our way to speak for Presbyterian Hospital, Huntersville. See you soon. Enjoy your weekend.

Trip to the ER

Some senior friends of "Gladys" that live at the beach had a little bathroom remodeling job going on. The husband decided to paint the commode seat instead of buying a new one, "being on a fixed income and all". The wife did not realize the paint was still wet.....but quickly noticed while in use. She yelled for help, her husband attempted but failed. He then disconnected the seat from the commode and draping a sheet around her they take a trip to the emergency room.

When the doctor walked into the room, she was very embarrassed & said to him, "I bet you've never seen anything like this before!" and the ER doctor said, "Yes, actually I have seen lots of them, I've just never seen any mounted and framed!"

Moral of this story ~ a new commode seat is still cheaper than the ER co-pay ~ rethink your project!

Enjoy your weekend ~ I'm "Gladys Friday" aren't you?

denisepricethomas@gmail.com

704-747-8699

"Not Compatible,,,HUH???"

True Story:

Denise thought she had a sinus infection so she went for an office visit. While in the lobby waiting to see her physician, she noticed a very nice senior couple signing in. She also noticed that there were no vacant seats together so she moved down to make that happen.

Noticing this, the sweet lady said, "Honey, thank you but we won't be sitting together....we just can't sit beside each other AT ALL, it's very frustrating, so complicated and it's just not worth it, it's just too much!"

Denise had already moved down so she was uncertain as to what she should do next.....

The lady's attentive husband walked over and sat down right beside her with a smile. He said, "It's really worse at night but she doesn't even realize it!"

She said, "No, it's MUCH WORSE DURING CHURCH, everyone in the church is talking about it!"

About that time, Denise's name was called to see her physician. At check out the couple, both using a cane for assistance, was leaving at the same time and Denise said, "it certainly was nice meeting you two, I hope you had a good visit with your doctor."

The couple replied, "No, not really, the doctor said we are NOT COMPATIBLE and he has to order two new ones...."

Obviously Denise had a very confused expression and they picked right up on that.....and quickly said....."IT'S OUR HEARING AIDS! They just make a horrible noise when they are anywhere close together."

Whew!! Denise was relieved! She was once again reminded that things aren't always the way they appear or how we may hear things as they appear. She was glad she found the time to lend an ear."

I'm "Gladys Friday" ~ hope you are too. Enjoy your weekend!

denisepricethomas@gmail.com

"MEN-ON-PAUSE!"

"Gladys" has determined that there is one letter missing in menopause.....it should be spelled as: "men on pause" ~

Here are just a few clues for MEN ON PAUSE:

She will ask for chocolate and if it hasn't appeared before her eyes within 5 seconds, she screams to HIM ~ "JUST NEVER-MIND!"

She will insist she is driving (wherever they go) ~ the a/c blowing in her face, no matter if it's 10 below.

She will want HIM to take her to a nice restaurant for dinner but when she can't zip her dress....and asks for HIS help and HE says, "Maybe we should just have Slim-fast"......let's just say that hopefully his funeral arrangements were made in advance because the crematory will be contacted.

From a sound sleep, she will fling the covers off of her (along with everything else).....it's not what HE thinks. HE should back away from that thought.....NO PAWS unless of course HE wants to see her CLAWS! Anything that touches her could very quickly be PAST-TENSE!

So "Gladys" has invented a MOOD SWING......which is powered by an industrial fan. For ladies that have "MEN-ON-PAUSE" ~ you just get into your mood swing (made from PURE USA COTTON), turn the fan to the highest volume while keeping THAT remote in YOUR hand!

Finally ~ I'm Gladys Friday.....and IT'S HOT IN HERE, where's the chocolate?!?! JUST NEVER-MIND!! (She's just a swingin')

~ Happy Independence Day!! ~

Events for Denise & "Gladys Friday" for 2010 include: (two speakers in one)

• The Joint Commission, Patient Safety Conference, Chicago
• AMA Alliance Regional Conference
• NCMS Alliance, Raleigh, NC
• Carolina Foot & Ankle
• PAHCOM, Metrolina Chapter
• Allergy Partners, Winston Salem
• NYS BONES Conference,Keynote Speaker, Albany, NY
• The Joint Commission, Ambulatory Care Conference, Chicago
• NC Medical Staff Conference
• NC Oncology Management Society, Wrightsville Beach
• Academic Surgical Administrators Conference, Philadelphia
• Relay for Life, Survivors Birthday Party, Belmont, NC
• Gaston Radiology
• Novant Managers, Charlotte, NC
• Presbyterian Hospital, Huntersville, NC
• Healthcare Symposium, PAHCOM, MGMA, Mecklenburg Medical Society, Charlotte, NC
• NC Industrial Commission ~ Workers Compensation Conference, Raleigh, NC

and.....

• Gaston County Schools, Teaching & Learning Conference
• First ARP Women's Event, Gastonia, NC
• First Baptist Church, Gastonia, NC
• New Hope Presbyterian Church, Gastonia, NC
• First Methodist Church, Gastonia, NC
• Union Presbyterian Church, Gastonia, NC
• Sandy Plains Baptist Church, Gastonia, NC
• Holy Trinity Lutheran Church, Gastonia, NC
• Patterson Grove Baptist Church, Kings Mountain, NC
• Myers Memorial Methodist Church Women's Event, Gastonia, NC
• Covenant Village, Gastonia, NC
• Terrace Ridge Assisted Living, Gastonia, NC
• Rotary Club
• and more......

Recent comments:

• "Great speaker, content & laughter"
• "Holds an audience's attention very well"
• "Great customization of materials"
• "Made me want to be more positive and helpful toward patients"
• "We can now come to work and have fun as a team"
• "Made me realize that some patients have reasons for acting the way they do, i.e. fears"

In addition to Gladys Friday, newest presentations by Denise Price Thomas are:

• "Diary of a Patient"
• "Motivational Makeover"
• 1440 Choices

denisepricethomas@gmail.com